Finding Connection
Combating Social Isolation in Your Alcohol-Free-As-F**k Journey
Dear STRIVERS,
The story of combating social isolation in the journey towards an Alcohol-Free-As-F**k (AFAF) life is one of transformation and personal growth. It's about facing the fear, doing the hard work, and ultimately coming out on the other side with a better understanding of ourselves. Let's delve into the essence of social isolation and how you can overcome it to build a fulfilling life without alcohol.
Alcohol: A Mask for Dysfunction
We can use alcohol to numb the pain, to fit in, and to forget about our underlying dysfunction. It becomes a bandage for nervousness, anxiety, fear, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem. But this bandage is temporary and, unfortunately, detrimental.
By drowning these feelings in alcohol, we miss the opportunity to experience them fully and learn to normalise them. We never grow past them. As the wise Susan Jeffers once wrote, you must "feel the fear and do it anyway." Alcohol stops this growth; decades later, the mere thought of socialising without it might cripple you. But remember, it's never too late.
Unpacking Social Isolation
Social isolation isn't simply a circumstance; it's a choice. We derive value from being alone, having "me" time, and the selfish comfort of not having to compromise. What's your payoff?
I've seen clients stuck in cycles where friends drag them back into drinking. But the truth is, no one else has that power. The choice to drink or not is yours, rooted in a complex web of desires, fears, and payoffs.
Facing vulnerability, having challenging conversations, leaving friends if needed, and doing more profound work on oneself can lead to incredible personal growth.
Embracing the Alone Time
My friends stopped inviting me out when I stopped drinking, which was fine. It led me down a path of self-exploration, and I began to enjoy my own company. Going to concerts and movies and engaging in activities alone was acceptable and growth-orientated.
I learned about myself, healed my trauma, and attracted new friends more aligned with my values. I realised that friendships aren’t bound by years or the necessity of trust-building over time. It's about connecting with people whose vibe resonates with you, and when you’re AFAF, you learn to connect and trust your intuitive vibe radar system.
Building Your AFAF Journey
Don't fret about socialising when you stop drinking. Embrace the chance to be alone, take time, and work on yourself. Many people are tailor-made for your life, and you'll attract them when you're ready.
Here's a step-by-step guide to help you on this journey:
1. Identify Your Feelings: Understand why you drink and what you're trying to mask.
2. Find Safe Connections: Think of someone you feel safe with. If you can connect with one, you can connect with many.
3. Assess Your Pay Off: What are you gaining from isolation? Understanding this can lead to breakthroughs.
4. Speak Your Truth: Communicate your needs and feelings with those around and within you.
5. Embrace Being Alone: Learn to enjoy your own company. It's a muscle worth exercising.
6. Do the Inner Work: Heal, grow, develop, and be ready to attract new friends.
7. Trust Your Vibe: Let your innate wisdom guide you to the right connections.
The AFAF life is more than just about quitting alcohol; it's a way of living that empowers you to become your best self. It's about growth, connection, and realising that you have the power to create the life you desire.
Stay strong, STRIVERS. Embrace the journey, the growth, and the connection waiting for you on the other side of fear. Together, we are unstoppable.
Much love & STRIVE on!
Lee